I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize