Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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