You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
