Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
