I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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