Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
