home. puking in laundry basket.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
did you just send me my own nude
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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