very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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