she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
