fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize