dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
