don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my shit smells like andre
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
