worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
