is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
