wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
