$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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