i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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