Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize