I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
