Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
