I wish I only lived at night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize