you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
