In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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