i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
