I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
