cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize