can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
