Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
