I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She said her name was "party"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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