it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am mentally ready for anal.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
