Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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