My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
