Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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