I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
