i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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