we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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