Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
