I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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