Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize