Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
