Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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