craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
