I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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