Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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