2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
