marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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