The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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