it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
