Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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