he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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