dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
