You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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