And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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