Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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