I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
