It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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