over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
