Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
