i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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