"it" just moved
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
