I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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