is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
May the power of my ass compel you!!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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