I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
