Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
