He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize