I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
